How We’re Programmed to Self-Destruct… But NOT FOR LONG

“Let’s take a step back… some steps way back into memory lane. Psychoanalytically, recalling, your reasons for your fall…”


Toxic environments, all that murky water we’ve absorbed,

and that filth became all we knew, so we come of age into a world imbued

With pitfalls waiting on ya to land and crawl, with no way to get out, no bond, now just a CONvict CONfined behind your own walls and bars,

We take that murkiness we absorbed as children, witnessing dysfunction, no way to explain the the pain we see, our innocent brains couldn’t make sense out of the nonsense we’ve been force fed with.

We may have been told by those we trusted, and those who claim to love us the very thing we’re trying to unlearn.


“This is between you and me, okay, don’t tell your mother…” or “you better not tell anyone or I will [threat].”

Anyone who’s heard this one already knows the disturbing thing it entails. Sexual abuse has a way of slowly destroying every bit of innocent fabric that subtracts childhood joy, replacing it with premature cynicism, depression, and anger that cannot be contained, one becomes a walking ticking time bomb ready to explode at any moment, all this time they’ve been holding in, that secret they were forced to keep, but speaking up is healing, who cares if no one believes it. You know the truth, stand tall with fortitude. Fearlessly, don’t let it make you restless. Injustices on this Earth do NOT go unchecked, for the Earth has been crying over the same heinous crimes long before we were born.

Believe me when I say, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED. If the physical realm won’t handle it, the spiritual realm will.

“This is grown folks business, when you get older you’ll understand…” or esto es asunto de adultos.” Which is Spanish for “this is an adult matter”.

Well, if it is why be so loud and out in the open about it? Why cry in front of them? You don’t think your children will catch on and question? Now you’re forced to explain a pain that was self-inflicted by bad decisions, breaking a bit of the innocence they aren’t prepared to witness their parents’ imperfections, marriage covenant broken, it will affect them. It was too early. And if you don’t explain it thoroughly, well they may go searching outside, in all the wrong places for answers, and be led astray.

Better have wisdom before you have some little ones. Because they’re always watching the only examples they have at home.

“You’re gonna end up just like your [fill in the blank]” … of a relative who’s considered a failure.

What a way to speak life into the youth, don’t be mad when it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. One can curse themselves and their own with words like that. Paving the roads for pitiful futures, then complaining about the lack of fruit. The youth has potential greater than the old stubborn mules. What kind of track team is this? The baton must be passed to them, next in line to sprint, but telling them they’re gonna lose the race before they even try is recipe for failure.

“She’s gonna end up pregnant before her high school graduation…”

Maybe she won’t, but maybe she will thanks to the lack of guidance, with no one to plant the seeds of wisdom, instead she’ll roam about this world vulnerable, a lost soul, perfect prey for the wolves that go in search for girls like her, as she’s looking for a direction, she encounters a shady guy, bad intentions, only to be met with an erection, ready to stick some seeds in her and it’s not wisdom. A stumbling block cock, he cocked his weapon killed her spirit then slithered like a serpent, disappearing into the darkness, leaving another generation fatherless.

“You’re worthless, you’re a piece of sh!t, just like your [fill in the blank]...”

This line usually is said by the person who actually is a POS, but they wanted to project that onto you. They wanna refer you to a job position at the Misery Company they have a tenure to. Don’t worry! It comes with no benefits, yet many people take this $hitty career! Please, don’t be those people.

“Look at you! You’re [fill in the blank]!!”

Of any negative adjective you can think of. Perhaps, “ugly, fat, stupid, listless, pathetic, definitely some curse words.” Only to solidify the low-self esteem they want to set you up with because they feel that way about themselves. They do this so that it’s easier for you to accept the gaslighting they’re about to ignite you with, narcissists do it so swiftly, you can’t see it, especially if you’ve allowed them to dictate your sight. But when you’re so young, you believe everything… easily manipulated, you grow up to become prey for the world of narcissists.

Time to remove the target off your back. Recognize that you’ve been programmed to self-destruct by people (possibly even family) who were also self-destructive themselves.

How did they get like that? Probably the same way YOU DID!”

Generational curses run VERY DEEP.

“Question is… when will you decide to break the cycle? It’s now in your hands.”

“You can’t change the past, but you have the power to change your future.”

“So, now that the ball is in your court, whether or not the game is won is up to YOU…”

 © 2021

Published by Yasira Akamai

Wife. Writer. Poet. Artist. Lyricist. Born in December 16, 1995. Mexican-American. Southwestern US born -> Grew up in the Chicagoland area & Northwest Indiana (mostly East Chicago) -> moved to a warmer place living that Southern coastal life. I've been writing since like around the late 2000s. Depression and anxiety was swallowing me and I had difficulty trusting others, so I decided to confide in writing. It started off as Spanish songwriting, then it evolved into English poetry, prose, and short stories the more I improved my English grammar and vocabulary. I once had to take ESL classes, until it was determined that I didn't need to anymore around middle school. I became so dedicated to writing that I just did it everyday, and it served as my daily therapy as I was battling with negative thoughts. It put my mind in a state of meditation where it opened me up to many ideas and inspiration that I lived to create. I began to notice that I could write and speak things into existence with my words and actions. I had to find myself, and search for the power of the mind. Blog posts written by the author who goes by the pen name, Yasira Akamai, are intellectual property that belongs to the original author.   ©2021 Yasira Akamai, Power_of_the_Mind_Blog

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