This is a question many of us have asked ourselves at one point, when we start to notice a pattern of toxic people coming in and out of our lives. We get fed up, but it’s essential to ask the right questions, so we gain wisdom, and not repeat the same mistakes again.
We cannot control what others do, but we can control what we do. The goal is to put ourselves in the best possible position where we will thrive. Whatever happens over there is gonna happen regardless; this temple of yours, you have to guard it by making the right moves. We cannot remove the pitfalls, but we can surely navigate around them.
We can’t be mad at a wolf for being a wolf, it is it’s nature. We need to recognize the wolf for what it is and move accordingly.
The things we do, say, and think leave an imprint on what outcomes we receive and who we attract into our lives. Be very wary of the types of signals you send out into the world, you only get what you put in.
In some cases, we may not attract what we are; we could be attracting the opposite of ourselves. For instance, a pure-hearted or passive person can attract a narcissist because the narcissist can sense those who are kind-hearted or lost and capitalize on their compassion or vulnerability.
Perhaps, the victim might be at their lowest point and may have low self-esteem, and the narcissist knows what words to say in order to “butter you up”, to get you to trust them. In actuality, the entire first impression was fake the entire time. Everything they did to make you favor them was fake. They didn’t mean any of it. But when we are vulnerable, we tend to cling onto people who can make us feel good about ourselves; those people could be the wrong ones. Their intentions were not what you thought they were.
We tend to seek validation from the very ones mentally abusing us. And it becomes a vicious cycle.
We can always break those cycles, as we become more aware of these behavior patterns.