7 Things to Keep in Mind When Dealing With Narcissists

Everytime you get around these energy leeches, their vibe is heavy and uneasy. You may feel anxiety when you’re around them. Then, they do things that bother you, and they try to make you feel worthless. They may secretly hate on you for no reason. They despise your good vibes and the fact that you’re on cloud 9. Since they can’t create their heaven on Earth, they will bring hell upon your life.

It can be hard to navigate around them when you don’t even know that they are indeed a narcissist. But once you’ve identified them as such, the next step would be to find out how to maneuver around their nonsense, if you’re temporarily forced to be around them (whether it’s at school, work, or living situation).


Here are 7 things to keep in mind:


1. Embrace Stoicism


Narcissists live to get a reaction out of you. Don’t give them what they want. Deprive them of the juice they seek from you, which is found in your reactions and emotions.
Being stoic doesn’t mean be emotionless, it simply means to control the way you respond whenever bullshit arises. I’m telling you, these leeches live to make you feel like garbage. But if you show them no emotion, it will confuse them, and they will feel stupid.

At first, they may continue to try though. They are relentless in trying to squeeze the juice outta you, so be aware of that and act accordingly. But eventually, your stoicism and short clever responses will agitate them because they’ll realize that they cannot get to you. They may stop and try a new strategy, but eventually when they’ll see that their energy is being wasted more than yours. When this happens, they usually move onto another victim who is easier to play with.


2. Remember That They Speak Lies About You Or May Stretch the Truth & Twist Your Words


Do not stress over what they say about you behind your back, nor what they say to you in hopes of gaslighting you. You know who you are. Don’t let them get into your head. They will try to capitalize on any weaknesses, flaws, or past mistakes to try to distract you from seeing through them.

We all make mistakes and have flaws, nothing new! You know if you were aware of these things you’d try to change for the better. If that is you, then you know you’re not a bad person. And whatever bad things they say about you many have little to no truth in it. They may either straight up lie about you to others, or they’ll try to use some truth (about your flaws or past mistakes) and stretching it so far to emphasize how “bad” you are.

They may also use your words and twist them in such a way as to make you look bad. But you know what you meant when you said those words. They do this to get people to go against you. The more people on their side, the easier it is to gaslight you, in order to make you believe in the lies, stretched out truth, or twisted words.

At the end of the day, you know who you are, and you know what you said. Those who don’t care to hear your side of the story, but are quick to believe theirs are no better.



3. Be Steps Ahead of Them


Always expect what’s to come next. The more you observe how they move, the easier it is to predict what they’ll do next. Once you master this knowledge they can no longer decieve you, and you will be unstoppable. They live to cause you to second guess yourself, so that you will be doubtful about whether or not they’re messing with your head.

Always expect the worse from them because most likely that is what their up to. It may be hard for empaths to imagine that someone would go so far to hurt them, but the reality is that there are many people who seek to hurt others.

Why? Because they are miserable in their life, and they want to bring you down. They do this, because they cannot elevate. Technically, they could, but they’ve chosen to be low-down, and all they can do is bring others down, in order to make themselves feel good.

The more you pay close attention to their moves, the easier it becomes to read them. You keep reading those chapters, you’re gonna be able to make an accurate prediction for the next chapter. Once you do this, you will see it. Keep being observant and you will see it for real! Keep your eyes open!



4. Be Wary of Fake Compliments


This is meant to throw you off-guard. They want to flatter you, in order to get you comfortable around them. Their compliments are fake, and usually it is the inverse reflection of what their jealous of. Say for example, if they compliment you on your talent, they’re actually letting you know what they wished they had. They are not happy for you, they are envious of the gifts you have.



5. Watch Them Close, But Don’t Allow Them to Get Close to You


I’d like to use a boxing analogy for this. Boxing is the art of “hitting without getting hit.” You want to land hits, but not be the one to take the hits. In order for you to land precise hits, you must watch them close, so you can see how they move. Do this, while simultaneously dogding, ducking, slipping, and stepping away from them. You don’t want to let them get close to you, and you damn sure don’t want to position yourself in an area where they can corner you.
Only get close enough to observe them, but do not open yourself to them. They are opportunists that will take advantage of any vulnerability you leave.


6. Do Not Let Them Know YOU KNOW What They’re About


If you do, all they’ll do is switch their game up, in order to gaslight and manipulate you even further. Everytime you confront them about their off behavior, they will deny it, and they will only become even more sneaky. They may start to behave well for a moment to reel you back in, and then next thing you know they go back to their old ways. Most narcissists do not seek to change. The only thing they change is how much better they can hide their dirt.

Essentially, if you confront them, you’re only going to dig yourself into further mental anguish. Confronting them would be like giving them the fire to fuel even more gaslighting. So, move silently. Remain cool, calm, and collected. Play dumb, basically act like you don’t know what they’re up to, and they will get very comfortable. So much so, that they will foolishly prove you right. They will make it easier for you to see that they are indeed a narcissist. They may insult your intelligence. Let them, they’ll eventually expose themselves through their actions. And Karma will catch up to them.



7. Let’em Talk But Do Not Confide in Them


If you are forced to be around a narcissist for the time being, I’d recommend staying low-key. Do not confide in them at all. Do not make friends with them. If they approach you and speak to you, let them talk, but pay close attention to what they say. Once you know for sure that they are indeed a narcissist, then you already know that their information is most likely invalid or inaccurate.

If they are very talkative, listen, and treat it like free Intel. They’ll let you know exactly what kind of character they have or lack thereof. Since they don’t know what YOU KNOW, they will be even more comfortable in opening up to you without you having to ask. They’ll confide in you, in order to clear their name or get closer to you, so that you’d eventually confide in them. But don’t trust them! They will try to use your words against you by twisting them.


Hopefully, this helped. Thank you for reading!!

Published by Yasira Akamai

Wife. Writer. Poet. Artist. Lyricist. Born in December 16, 1995. Mexican-American. Southwestern US born -> Grew up in the Chicagoland area & Northwest Indiana (mostly East Chicago) -> moved to a warmer place living that Southern coastal life. I've been writing since like around the late 2000s. Depression and anxiety was swallowing me and I had difficulty trusting others, so I decided to confide in writing. It started off as Spanish songwriting, then it evolved into English poetry, prose, and short stories the more I improved my English grammar and vocabulary. I once had to take ESL classes, until it was determined that I didn't need to anymore around middle school. I became so dedicated to writing that I just did it everyday, and it served as my daily therapy as I was battling with negative thoughts. It put my mind in a state of meditation where it opened me up to many ideas and inspiration that I lived to create. I began to notice that I could write and speak things into existence with my words and actions. I had to find myself, and search for the power of the mind. Blog posts written by the author who goes by the pen name, Yasira Akamai, are intellectual property that belongs to the original author.   ©2021 Yasira Akamai, Power_of_the_Mind_Blog

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