My father is a man of a few words, but those words were essential to instilling a logical and sound mind that allowed me to move in the right direction. It made me a solid individual.
He had difficulty communicating, but he wasn’t afraid to speak the truth. Even if it “hurt my feelings,” it was for my own good. I needed to hear it, and I’m very thankful I did because I wouldn’t be where I am today. Now, I appreciate the harsh truth because it is laced with love that allows you to grow.
He spoke bluntly because he wanted me to be prepared for this tough world because his eyes has seen the cruelty of this world before I was able to understand it. Now, I understand it.
My parents divorced and it affected me negatively for some time back then, and it took me to a dark place. I wasn’t very close to my father at first, but he never abandoned me. Divorce created the illusion that I was “unloved” but now that I’m older I realize how much he did love me. It was just an unemotional love he shown through his commitment to still be in my life.
As a kid, I used to have reoccurring dreams that he wanted to get closer to me, but I didn’t believe it because sometimes he wouldn’t show up when he was suppose to pick me up for that weekend. This really broke my heart, and I felt like a burden to him. Until time went by, he shared his childhood stories with me, and we were able to cultivate a good relationship.
I saw the growth in this man which allowed me to not hate all men because I had my dad to serve as a reference for me to see the goodness in the imperfections of man. And no matter how many struggles and vices a man may have, there’s no excuse for still being a shitty person.
I didn’t see him often, but when I did we would watch some very good movies. His favorite ones were any action movies with Denzel Washington in it. The Book of Eli was his ultimate favorite, and it is very relevant to these last days. I remember watching Scarface too, and he adopted that phrase that he would often say:
📍”El Mundo Es Tuyo.”
▪️(The World is Yours).
Recently, I saw someone with a tattoo of it, and I immediately thought about my dad. It’s amazing how much words can be imprinted in your mind for years to come.
He never made excuses and that instilled discipline and a sense of accountability in me. I’m thankful for all this. He would tell me:
📍”Tu vida sera dificil porque la mia es tambien y tu eres mi hija, pero solo tienes que correr mas rapido que los demas. Cada generacion tiene que ser mejor.”
▪️(Your life will be hard because mine was, and you are my daughter. But that just means you have to run faster than most. Every generation should get better).
He used to take me to his carpentry job, and I seen how hard men work. This allowed me to appreciate the labor of men, particularly the blue collar man, while the media likes to talk down on those professions even though they are the ones who build everything.
He was a man who didn’t talk much, but whenever he did it meant a lot to me.
Those few words he spoke would play in my mind whenever I was ready to do something stupid. Even though he wasn’t always physically there, his few words lived in my mind. This was one of them, regarding the teen years:
📍 “Estos son los años mas peligrosos de tu vida. Solo un error puede destruirte para siempre.”
▪️(This is the most dangerous years of your life. One wrong move and your life will be ruined forever).
📍”No te embarazes!”
▪️(Don’t get pregnant).
Those words put the fear of God in me because I was determined to make the right moves even back when I didn’t believe in God. I still tried to maintain a moral code because I like to do the right thing.
I used to resent him until I saw him change for the better the older I got. The older I got the more connected I felt to him, even though I lived with my mother. He always used to say:
📍”La sangre llama
▪️ (The blood is calling).
He was referring to how close we are to our bretheren despite the physical distance, and it goes deeper into your ancestors as well. I would even add that it also refers to how we are spiritually connected to certain people. I think it’s more spiritual than it is physical.
He taught me about our Indigenous American heritage, and about the original Mexicans, which is information passed down from the generations before us. This showed me the importance of oral tradition, and passing down information about your history to your children. Then he’d tell me:
📍”No dejas que ellos te hacen sentir que este no es tu paiz porque nosotros somos mas Americanos que los gringos. Todo el continente de America era de los Indigenas.”
▪️(Never let anyone make you feel like you don’t belong in this country because we are more American than the gringos. The entire American continent belonged to the Indigenous).
He would often talk about how he could’ve went the wrong direction, but he didn’t.
As a result he would often tell me:
📍”Se siente muy bien no tener que preoccuparme o ser vigilante de donde voy. La paz es mas valorable quel dinero.”
▪️(It feels so good to not have to look over your shoulder everywhere you go. Peace is more valuable than money).”
We both inherited struggle, but we made it with a good heart despite all that. We have great respect for each other.
💚Having a good father in your life is the closest thing to God’s love. 🙏
💚Happy Father’s day to all the good fathers out there. 🍻
💙And while others wanna hijack father’s day for their mama, I’d like to once again give respect where respect is due:
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!!