Healing from the Cursed Mark of Sexual Abuse

The ultimate goal of my blog is to empower your mind by encouraging you in the best way I can possible because the world is in dire need of healing. Some posts aren’t for everyone. Each message is meant to resonate with certain individuals. This is a heavy topic, and if it’s not meant for you then that’s OK. You can skip this one, stay tuned for future posts, and I thank you for listening and reading. This is the longest post I’ve ever wrote so far. That’s why I left a recording for you, so here goes.

[Transcript]

One of the things that has caused people to be delayed in life is childhood sexual abuse trauma. Many people with great potential have been destroyed by this, and we’ve witnessed the slow death of those who have not healed from it. It’s very heartbreaking to watch as their sorrow is contagious. It’s very hard to go through life with this cursed mark. I have some too, so I know this very deeply. I also know that most people don’t give a fuck, and that’s OK because I do. I care about myself, and others who know the depth of this pain. There are enough demons in this world. We need more healing. I want all of you to be able to extract all the poison that’s been trapped inside of you, so you can continue on your path toward peace and progress.

You have been marked early on. Your mind has been broken beyond repair, and you’re left to figure it out on your own. My greatest wish is for all of you to recover from these traumas, and realize your highest potential. It’s a very difficult thing to live with, and those who haven’t experienced it will never understand the depth of darkness it brings. You’ve been marked by evil the moment you got shot with that trauma, and every time you get attacked you accumulate more demonic bites. The venom has lived within you, and it has transformed you. This can cause toxic habits and behaviors to become the thing you run to for relief and comfort. The more you get bit, the harder it is to recover. You begin to lose yourself because your innocence has been beaten out of you countless times, and you’re left with nothing.

It’s hard to know who you are when you don’t even know where to start. You don’t even know what it’s like to be normal. We will never know, and that’s a very hard pill to swallow which can cause us to accept evil into our lives. That cursed mark serves as a haunting reminder of impending failure, and it stings you to the core.

Reject the evil because it will only send you into an abyss of total hopelessness, misery, and despair that will be very hard to get out of. The deeper you walk into darkness, the harder it will be to get out because you will be too far away to see the light that’s supposed to guide you.

We get so comfortable with the darkness to the point that the furnace of hell feels cozy and warm because that may’ve been the only warmth we’ve ever known. The darkness becomes comforting because it’s always been there with us until we realize that we’ve been deceived. All that was an illusion to allure us.

Vices and addictions becomes our coping mechanisms because reality is too much to bear. Drunkenness, unhealthy compulsions, exploding rage, and excessive overeating are some ways that we punish ourselves which sends us further into darkness and depression because abuse makes you hate yourself, and everything around you.

This was orchestrated purposely in order to ensure our souls’ demise. The devil wants to get us while we’re young because it increases the likelihood of failure. The severity of the damage causes you to age terribly which makes it easier for demons to control us until the end of time. It’s a spiritual bondage we have to break out of no matter how difficult it is. It’s well worth it because freedom will give you peace.

At the end of the day, it’s up to us to make the choice of whether we wanna serve good or evil.

Our decisions will ultimately determine our fate, and whatever spirit you choose to feed will lead you. It’s all about YOUR DECISIONS because YOUR DECISIONS will be what will SET YOU APART.

The shackles of that bondage gets heavier and heavier the moment you accept the cursed mark, and more demons will be added onto you which will further oppress you into the depths of darkness.

You think you’re in darkness now?

It will only get worse when you don’t heal and become wiser, so let’s rise higher.

Healing is very difficult, but never healing is much worse. It seems like the fight is never over, but healing brings you closer to where you need to be. This comes with loving yourself enough to seek healing. Abuse makes you hate yourself, and it makes you feel worthless already. Imagine feeling like that during the most VITAL YEARS OF YOUR LIFE. That makes us prone to having faulty brain wiring.

Failure is inevitable, so now what?

You’ve probably wondered the same thing I wondered: What the hell can I possibly do?

We cannot erase this. This cursed mark won’t go away no matter how much we try to get this off of us. This makes us feel like it’s pointless and hopeless, so we just give up. You don’t know how many times I felt like just giving up.

El diablo loves to decieve everyone, yes. But when it comes to those who have early childhood trauma, he loves talking to us because we’ve been traumatized during the most vital developmental stages, and we make the perfect recruits. Sadly, many people operate como el diablo who use your traumas against you to further abuse you.

They kick you when you’re down with no remorse. Too many people in this world love to take advantage of your vulnerabilities which gives you NOWHERE TO TURN TO. You learned to TRUST NOBODY because it seems like no one is safe. You’ve been betrayed by someone very close to you who was supposed to be there for you, but they abused you instead. Being sexually abused by a trusted adult is the most fucked up form of betrayal to ever experience in your life. It really is. Then, they add the psychological manipulation shit to prevent you from speaking out. They’ll brainwash you into thinking that it was “nothing.” Oh, but YOU KNOW it’s something, it’s a fucked up something they’ve just done, and it is unforgivable because it’s pure wickedness to the highest degree.

They say it’s not good to bottle things up, but who can you trust? It’s hard to open up as it is. The pure-hearted ones are trustworthy, but some of them haven’t experienced your level of trauma. They either can’t understand or they can’t handle the intensity of darkness that you’re in. It’s too disturbing for them. It’s like a war veteran talking to a civilian about war. This is why we feel so alienated from others. They can’t take it, and I get it. It’s too painful to hear, but we don’t have that kind of privilege. I wish we had the privilege to just shut off those flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, negativity, and nightmares, but we don’t. We have to figure out how to heal on our own. As difficult as that may be, you will be a very powerful individual when you get there. You can’t go wrong with self-reliance and personal growth.

It will be tough.

You see, you were forced to have your eyes wide open too early, and it made you hypervigilant, paranoid, and more prone to mental illness and demonic possession. You have no one else to turn to, but that just means you need to turn to YOU. It’s your turn to build yourself up.

Break the chains of co-dependency that keeps you linked to the devils in disguise. Now, you got trust issues. Of course you do. Who can you possibly trust when everywhere you turn there’s someone deployed to destroy you at every corner?

This causes you to go insane or commit suicide. Some people are so wicked that they rejoice when that happens. Oh yeah, they laugh at your pain and suffering, then they laugh even harder when you end your own life because it secretly strokes their ego. What a desolate world we live in. There’s no sense in being attached to a world as fake and cruel as this.

I encourage you to keep seeking healing, knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. Sometimes you just have to make sense out of these painful experiences, so we can stop overthinking about what we could’ve done different.

DON’T ruminate on what “you should’ve done.” YOU were the victim here, so don’t take the blame for the shit that they did to you. By the time you got older you end up suffering from deep-rooted mental and spiritual trauma that eats your soul away bit by bit. It’s like you’re still getting bit even though your abuser is no longer there.

Let’s stop letting them eat your life away.
They are long gone. Ya se largaron pal’carajo.
They cannot touch you anymore.

Let me share a little something I seen in a dream recently. I’ma call this, “PUNCHING THE EYES OF THE SOULLESS ONE.

I was in my teens again in a dark room with the 2nd soulless one who shattered my innocence right before adolescence. He was sleeping, and I snuck up on him preparing to serve that overdue justice. My fist had the weight of a cinderblock, so when I threw that punch it broke his spine. The sound of the bones crackling was satisfying because of all the years he made me feel like dying. Then, I punched him right in his eye. Drops of onyx colored blood came out as my fist went through his socket. He had no eyeballs. His body looked flat as he was already decomposing rapidly. There was nothing inside of him.

No organs.
Nothing.

His body was completely hollow. He was literally an empty vessel with no soul.

What I’ve learned from this is that we’ve been putting too much energy (anger, wrath, sorrow, and pain) despising someone who doesn’t even exist because their soul has been long gone. We’ve been stressing over the soulless ones by allowing ourselves to self-destruct, and not be at peace. They don’t even have to be around you. They’ve left you behind with their poison in hopes that you’ll rot along with it. That won’t happen once you extract all the poison out by going through the process of self-healing.

Don’t let them take any more of your lifeforce.
They are nothing.
He or she is nothing.
They have no soul therefore they don’t exist.

Imagine punching a lifeless body thinking it’s still alive, and you unleash all that anger and hatred toward it as if it’s still hitting you.

It looks stupid doesn’t it?

The war is over, but your mind is still stuck there. Trauma keeps those memories alive which reinforces your cPTSD symptoms. All you’re doing is wasting your precious energy on something or someone who’s no longer in your presence.

They might not even be alive anymore, who knows?

I know one thing, if the Earthly judges can’t get them, spiritual justice will always be there to administer punishment.

Trust and believe that.

Technically, they’ve already been dead because their soul has left this dimension, and their vessel has gotten hijacked by a legion of demons.

How else could they do such vile and heinous acts against a young one, then act like nothing happened?

There’s no soul in there. There’s no way that there could be any life inside the absolute wicked who’ve crossed that line too many times, and all it takes is one time. Sexual abuse is very traumatic, and only a high-level demon can do that to a young one. These high-level demons have reached the point of no return because they live to violate the most sacred laws of the Universe (also known as God’s laws) and they do it with no remorse.

If you’ve ever stared into the eyes of the most conniving, you will see dark portals that have nothing in them. Their eyes show you they’ll gladly do evil. They were sent to destroy us in order to prevent humanity from ascending. Righteous wrath will be unleashed as you get restored for the severe damage they’ve caused you.

We will be renewed for as long as we stay in the narrow path. Don’t throw away the gifts God gave you. The darkness has nothing good to offer.

Too many beautiful souls have been crushed, destroyed, and obliterated. I mourn the deaths of those who gave up on life because they’ve grown so exhausted as their will to live diminished. That’s why I use my writing to empower as many as I can possible because it really does go a long way.

Your potential goes down the drain because of that heavy burden you’ve had to carry, and people don’t even realize how hard you try to put the pieces together. People around us keep bothering us, and we just wanna be left alone. Solitude becomes something we’re accustomed to. It’s hard to be normal when you never knew what it felt like to be normal. You’ve been robbed of a lot since the very beginning of your life. It’s time to get it back, that and much more.

I want to remind you that there are benefits to enduring the fight and seeking righteousness. At the end of the day, I know this human experience sucks ass, but we’re gonna suffer either way whether it’s for good or evil. The difference is that
suffering for good provides us with those oasis places that will heal us at every step we take toward the light. At least when you suffer for good, you will be renewed gradually, so keep moving ahead until you graduate from this growth journey.

It’s time to reclaim our power, and stop living in the past. Let’s stop allowing our past traumas to eat up our present moment. They already robbed you of your childhood, don’t let them take your future too. They don’t deserve that, so don’t give them anymore of your precious energy.

Make the future yours by healing, recreating yourself, and building your self-esteem from scratch. You may fear the unknown because you never knew who you were. You didn’t get the chance to find out, but only good things will come out of healing and walking toward the light. I know you wanna win, so let’s go win.

Stop torturing yourself with that overthinking, and that sense of worthlessness. It’s important for you to know that THE SEXUAL ABUSE YOU WENT THROUGH AS A KID WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

EVERYTHING THAT CAME OUT OF YOUR ABUSER’S MOUTH WAS FOUL AND FULL OF LIES.

You have been taken advantage of and manipulated by full grown adults who knew exactly what they were doing. You trusted them so much. You expected love from them, and looked up to them for guidance and support. You were innocent and it’s only normal for a child to want love, but these sick fucks had a perverted kind of love in mind that was never love to begin with. It was exploitative, wicked, and destructive, and they took advantage of every single vulnerability which ended up tearing you into pieces. Then, they combined that with psychological abuse where you were made to believe that you’re worthless and ugly. Then, they had the audacity to blame you for the abuse AS IF it was somehow your fault.

IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.
IT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT.

They projected their abominable sins unto you, leaving you with a heavy burden that WAS NOT EVEN YOURS. They’ve brainwashed and groomed you to the point your spirit began to die slowly. They rewired your brain to be their slave which has lead you to self-destruction. You’re on that kamikaze mode because you already knew you were doomed to ruin your own life. This makes them laugh because they’re looking to use you as a scapegoat to hide their own sins. The same people who broke you down as a child were the same people who told everyone that you’re nothing and won’t amount to anything. They broke you down on purpose so they can have someone to blame for their failures. They destroyed your life to save their reputation, or just for their sick pleasure. We’ve heard’em laughing in the background, having a good ol’ time after they’ve just obliterated your soul. They want your life to go to shit.

How evil is that?

We’re not about to let that happen. Your life WILL NOT ROT AWAY. You will be restored into a powerful individual that they can never touch. EVER.

SPIRITUAL ATTACKS: THE NOCTURNAL INTRUDERS

There are people who’ve had supernatural encounters which appear in the form of paranormal apparitions, sleep paralysis, and nightmares. The nightmares are a constant reminder of that trauma which makes it very hard to heal. The demons feed off of the negative energy that comes from your despair, misery, and anxiety.

Your traumas amplify that negativity even more, and the demons continue to be well fed if you remain unhealed. The longer you remain unhealed, the more pieces will be chipping out of you as the demons keep feeding off of the depletion of your spirit. You grow more depressed and powerless to the point you lose your willpower to get up again. Your spirit becomes weaker the longer we remain unhealed.

You feel depleted and drained after having these nocturnal episodes where you wake up abruptly to PTSD and uncontrollable anxiety. Then, the lack of sleep makes it even worse. These nightmares can even mimic your abuse scenes over and over again even though it’s been years since it happened. It can be very disheartening to experience this. Right when you thought you’ve healed, there they go again with that bullshit.

Then, you wake up to sleep paralysis where you actually witness shadow spirits in your room. You blink but they don’t go away. You are left to question your own sanity, and you cannot believe the paranormal activity you see right on front of you. You sense that ominous presence, and your breath is about to reach its end as its hands wrap around your neck. Luego se te sube la muerte. That means “Then, death lays on top of you.” That’s what we call a sleep paralysis demonic attack.

Some of us have actually felt like we were about to die by its hand. A hand that’s not physical, so as insane as this sounds, there’s no way to deny the feeling that death was imminent. The best way to describe it in secular terms is as a severe nocturnal anxiety attack that most likely is linked to PTSD.

These triggers and nightmares constantly remind you of how much you’ve been robbed throughout your whole life. These damn demons want to prevent you from healing, so they will keep trying to break you. No one cares about what we’ve been through, and we’re constantly reminded of how much we’re not normal. It’s no wonder why some of us end up giving up and succumbing to vices and toxic habits. I’m not justifying it, but I understand that it’s hard. All you can do is try your very best to heal, and even then that’s a lifelong journey full of ups and downs. One lifetime can feel like a prison life sentence. As you know, some people get released early, but not everyone makes it out alive.

You start to think, “What’s the point of living when you can no longer experience joy anymore?”

This is why people end up committing suicide because living another day reminds them of how empty they feel. I can’t tell you what to do, and not everyone will be saved, but you really don’t want to end your own life. Don’t die by your own hand. That’s not what you want to do. You were broken mentally to that point. If that stuff would’ve never happened to you, you wouldn’t be thinking like that. If you die by your own hand, you would be allowing your enemies to win because they wanted you dead without the suspicion that they were the culprits behind provoking and violating you to that point.

We have to learn to breathe again, and never let anyone take away our breath of life. Don’t take your own life. Whether you believe or not, your life is a gift from God, and these demons want you to waste that precious gift because they are empty vessels with no life and no soul.

They are nothing.

Do you really wanna die for these people who are NOTHING?

NO! YOU DON’T.

Take back your power, and continue to live. Every day that you live you are WINNING. Forget about the world’s vain pursuits and materialism. Winning has nothing to do with your net-worth, income, social status, or “educational” level. Forget about all that consumeristic bullshit that will not come with you to the afterlife.

WINNING IS WHEN YOU FINALLY GET TO ACHEIVE PEACE AFTER YEARS OF ABUSE AND TRAUMA.

WINNING IS WHEN YOU RETURN HOME TO GOD AFTER YEARS OF LIVING IN DARKNESS.

Who cares about how much money you have and what car you drive. What matters most is your soul and your peace. Peace is the best gift to ever receive, and I really do mean that. You could be homeless, but as long as you have peace you’ll be good because you’ll be open to receiving wisdom that will comfort and guide you during your struggles.

Being poor is nothing new to me, and my determination just doesn’t run out as they run their mouth. People can laugh, mock, and talk shit all they want. They don’t know what we’ve been through, or what it feels like. 9 times out of 10, if they had to spend a day in your shoes they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves, so it’s best that they shut the fuck up. It’s not like they have empathy anyway, so what they think about us doesn’t even matter. What they say is irrelevant.

We’re just trying our best to become better people with healthier minds who want to get closer to God. That sounds pretty damn good to me, so I don’t care what anyone has to say. People talk about you like they know you or as if they care to know you. All they wanna do is gossip all day long because they have no life. They don’t care to help their fellow man or woman as they keep on yapping at the mouth. You would think they would be praying or speaking life into people since they love to talk so much. Instead, they would rather destroy others in every way possible because they have no life. Then, they got the nerve to tell you, you have a foul mouth, when their ACTIONS are foul. The way they talk about us is FOUL, and they never cared to give us wisdom. That’s where Yahawa viene con el agua de sabiduria.

We have a life.

A precious one at that.

It’s so precious that many people tried to destroy it. Keep living, and let them get mad that you’re still alive and thriving after years of surviving. Keep shining brightly until these hoes go blind because they can’t stand to see your light.

LIVING WITH THE STING OF THE CURSED MARK

You try to be normal as you seek to be mentally healthy again, but it’s a constant battle between good and evil. Everytime you get triggered it’s as if the curse mark lights up and it stings you once again. This can cause you to revert back to your old toxic ways. Every time you give into this, you lose your power because you’re willingly giving your consent for more demons to enter your temple. You’ll start to get worse the more you give into the mindset of self-destruction. Fasting can help, you can read more about that on my post titled, “7 Powerful Benefits of Fasting.”

When that cursed mark shocks you again, you feel that same pain you felt way back in the day when the trauma happened. This triggers your sense of worthlessness again, to the point that you isolate yourself. You cannot bear to be around anyone because you still feel alone. They don’t understand you. They don’t have the wisdom or empathy to help you. They will gossip about your pain, and laugh at it as if it’s funny.

I wanna know just what the fuck is so funny?

Because I don’t think it’s funny. There’s nothing funny about that. I bet you, they wouldn’t be laughing like that if it happened to them.

Your trauma made you feel alienated. Being around normal people can be a challenge because their naivete emphasizes how damaged and broken you feel because you’ve seen and experienced too much at a young age. This is one of the reasons why I prefer my solitude, but I learned to accept the fact that I’m different and that’s OK. At least, I intend to live a life of purpose, and help those I can.

This is not easy at all, and some people undermine the damage you’ve had to live with and fix by yourself. This cursed mark stays with you for as long as you live, and no matter how hard you try to wipe it off, nothing seems to work. Some of us give up on our faith because it seems like even Jesus can’t clean this either, and the more you pray the worse things get, so what are we to do?

Without wisdom, it’s easy to be led astray, but the most beautiful thing that can happen to you is for you to find yourself back on that path that you were supposed to be in. We didn’t see it back then because it seemed like no amount of prayers could take away the aftermath of that pain. Many people who say they’ll “pray for you” end up laughing behind your back. Some people think that your pain is just so funny BUT THEY WOULDN’T BE LAUGHING LIKE THAT IF THEY HAD TO LIVE WITH THIS SHIT!

No they would not! That’s why their faulty opinions don’t even matter because they don’t understand nor do they care to understand what you have to endure. Oh and by the way, some of them are not praying for us. They’re preying on us and on our downfall.

They don’t pray.

They prey.

Yup, I guess that’s just them telling us the truth in plain sight. I’m not saying that everyone who says they’ll pray for us are like this, OK. There are some people (very few) who will actually genuinely pray for us, and to those people I would like to send them a very special thanks for actually caring. Your service to humanity is greatly appreciated.

Prayer is nice and all but we still have to endure through it all, and without wisdom pieces of us will chip away the more we age. This can cause us to lose faith, give up on God altogether, and be left with a reprobate mind. You may go back to the unhealthy things that gave you short-lived pleasure, but the truth about that is that you’re allowing the curse to DIRECT YOU TO YOUR DEMISE.

It nearly feels impossible to make it out, but there’s a neurological concept called “brain plasticity” where you can mold your brain by changing your daily habits. The hard part is getting that thing started just like when you first start working out after years of being overweight or obese. It’s very difficult in the beginning, but once you get it going and build up that discipline, things will go a lot smoother. For many days you must keep that routine of discipline, but that cursed mark will cause you to stumble many times.

The devil will start attacking you the moment you become a threat through your self-improvement because you’re taking steps toward being released from bondage. Expect that cursed mark to sting you constantly. You will keep falling down to the point where you feel like giving up, and you start to feel like you’re too unworthy to get back up.

I’M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF GETTING BACK UP. YOU DON’T KNOW HOW FAR YOU’VE MADE IT, SO WHY STOP NOW? YOU REALLY WANNA LET’EM STOP YOU FROM REACHING YOUR GLORY.

STOP STRESSING ABOUT ALL THE TIMES YOU’VE FALLEN DOWN. WE ALL FALL DOWN, BUT WHAT SETS YOU APART IS YOUR TENACITY TO GET BACK UP AGAIN, AND MAKE THINGS RIGHT.

NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU FALL, YOU HAVE TO KEEP GETTING UP AGAIN AND AGAIN.

BEAT THAT DAMN THING!

Just like that cursed mark wants to keep stinging and tormenting us constantly over and over again. So will we keep getting back up OVER AND OVER AGAIN until we get to our destination.

WE WILL NOT LET THE CURSED MARK OVERRULE US. WE WILL TAKE OWNERSHIP OF OUR OWN MIND AND SPIRIT.

For as long as we’re still breathing we will fight back until we destroy all these demons in the name of Yahshua. We’re not just praying, but we’re doing the work. This is some heavy work right here. I know. Anyone who’s accomplished doing this work is an extremely powerful individual. I want you to become that. I encourage you to keep going, keep working on your healing, and beat those negative thoughts and toxic habits you may have. Don’t allow these demons to take control of your mind with those stupid negative thoughts. Since when did the devil ever tell the truth?

NEVER!

So why do you keep believing in it?

Listen to the words of truth, and muffle out those who speak lies. Let me remind you that YOU ARE WORTHY OF GETTING BACK UP AGAIN. Stop thinking about the mistakes you’ve made in the past. Stop thinking about what others have said or done to you. Forget about all the times you’ve confided in a fake friend for support, only for them to backstab and laugh at you. They made you feel humiliated and undeserving of healing.

What kind of person does that? Why would anyone discourage YOU from healing, growing, elevating, and becoming an overall better person?

None other than a damn demon using them to speak evil upon you.

Who gets mad at someone who’s been through a lot, but has decided to put in the work to get better?

Their discouraging words don’t mean shit! Stop listening to people who want to bring you down after all the work you put into self-improvement and healing. Watch out for those who come back into your life only to remind you of how “undeserving” and “unworthy” you are to be the great man or woman that you are today, or that you will be tomorrow.

Do yourself a favor and tell them to kick rocks because 10 times out of 10 they never been through what you’ve been through. They lack empathy, and they’re evil. Only an evil person will discourage you from evolving into an empowered individual. Sometimes they’ll even bring up your past or just simply make up shit to make you feel unworthy of growing.

Let me tell you this: YOU ARE WORTHY OF GROWING, SO DON’T STOP. AS LONG AS YOU’RE PUTTING IN THAT WORK, AND INVESTING IN YOUR OWN PERSONAL SELF-DEVELOPMENT, YOU HAVE MY RESPECT BECAUSE I KNOW IT’S HARD.

YOU ARE WORTHY AND DESERVING OF THE RESULTS YOU GET BASED ON THE WORK YOU PUT IN. DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENT.

I hope this message helped you. I put my heart and soul into this because healing is essential.

Gloria a Yahawa que nos trai el agua.