Power Of The Mind – Spiritual Samurai Writes

“My MIND at WAR with SPIRITS…
PSYCHOTIC SPLIT!”
Now, I’m half psychic, with eyes that expose the trifling who
try to stifle with my peace,
But there’s no need because
cPTSD never leaves,
What the fuck else ‘you want from me?
If I’m so ugly why does the incubi keep on walking by trying to catch my eye?
But no love resides inside of a parasite,
I feel very deeply,
Bleak memories keep depleting my energy,
Why doesn’t anyone else feel me?
I regret sharing my life-stories to these phonies,
Who didn’t deserve to know me like that,
My dumbass thought they were actually genuine,
Instead they were venomous, tremendous pestilence I accepted,
Counterfeit helping hand intercepted,
Wish I woulda severed it when I had the chance.

Then, here come the psychotic thoughts,
That come from being chronically distraught,
Forcing me to travel back in time,
When my mind began to die,
And my spirit was split into pieces,
Pulverized like fine sea salt,
I could never find them all,
No peace in my sleep when I have rape dreams,
Until I was empowered by Metallica lyrics imprinted when I hunt them down “all nightmare long,”
Now they’re eye sockets are gone,
That’s what you call an empty vessel from the devil,
The rage against my abusers,
Manifests into unquenchable aggression that I kept under control because of the Lord,
Otherwise they would’ve been lying dead on the floor,
I realized that no amount of blood could bring back the innocent glow that they stole,
Turmoil boiling within me like radiation,
Ready to unleash the maniac in depression,
My urge to get violent remains tamed,
But I can’t take it,
The humiliation must be eradicated from my brain,
The traumas I’m forced to live with,
And no one gives a shit,
They’ll even laugh at it, until faced with a deadly weapon,
Here comes el Diablo trying to talk once again,
I tell him to fuck off,
But he’ll always follow me the farther I walk away from the dark,
Saying, “Hey, where you going? I know what it’s like to be rejected, why won’t you work for me?
You’re perfectly broken for me,
Remember all that pain’s permanently laced in your brain from various layers of betrayals?
Wouldn’t you like to unleash all that rage, and make’em pay?
Oh wouldn’t you just like to have ALL THAT POWER?
Let me shower you with it.”

Then I say, Sometimes I hate the fact that they’re still breathing!
I can’t take it anymore!
All the souls they’ve destroyed, why are they still roaming?
What’s the point of life when you have to live with a broken record in your mind?
Why am I alive?
Oh, why why why?
Why am I alive?
cPTSD for life,
I’m locked up without a cell,
Nas said, “Earth is parallel to hell, but we must maintain,”
Cypress Hill stated, “We’re insane in the membrane,”
Yeah, I’m feeling like it
All I have is this poetic gift,
That has kept me from slitting my wrist,
Since I was 14 & oppressed,
Seduced by the darkness,
To bleed through the pages, engulfing the words in flames, hoping it could erase the pain,
Only for it to reduce my mind into morsels,
More or so, forlorn & torn before I even got to develop into a normal being,
Normalcy is too far for me to see,
Pharisees telling me that I’m no good for Elohim,
Too distracted by obscene scenes that laced me with hostility,
I regret every moment I expressed human emotions,
Dammit! I was supposed to be stoic,
Demons scoping but they cannot get me open,
That’s when I know it’s time for some therapeutic prose,
So I can connect with the One who arose from the dead to pay for our debt,
My anger has evolved into righteous wrath, so my enemies can never pass even if they cross me.