I already know I’ma always be misunderstood,
No matter how much I stand for the truth,
They keep on scrutinizing,
This may not be for you,
Some of those same eyes watching me are still conniving,
Seeking to stab spiritual knives in me,
To discredit what’s already been embedded in my destiny,
My testimony is worth treasures stored in the unseen realm,
Elohim saw the beauty in me others ignored,
That’s why I give Him glory and undying loyalty,
I’m no Christian, never cared to be one,
Pero Yahawa me traeo el agua ’cause I was parched, El me salvo de la selva, the wilderness, It’s just in this Indigenous lineage to come from stringent conditions,
Righteousness lives within me for as long as I keep feeling convicted,
Pure faith and willpower given,
The longer we don’t give in,
We got that coyote spirit,
Escaping from any situation and making it,
Going under fences undetected como en la frontera,
Obtenemos todo el mundo entera,
Manifestation is my destination I guess,
I never thought I’d even be saying this,
I was so negative back when my goal was to drink myself to death,
‘Cause I was like what’s the point? I’ve already been broken,
I kept running away from God,
I thought I was unworthy,
And scriptures seemed fictitious,
Prayer was like wishful thinking,
Couldn’t understand the meaning of speaking things into existence,
So my faith diminished,
I told God to leave me alone,
I told’em go find a Christian to do this work, I’m not the one. I’m agnostic,
Until spiritual awakening got me open, I received a knowing, Could this be God? I heard a voice,
Claircognizant consciousness that said,
“That’s exactly it. It’s the fact that you’re not a Christian that makes me want you even more. That’s exactly what makes you right for the job, so you can draw in the lost ones you’ve got a lot in common with, using your words to inspire’em so they don’t expire from those same traumas that’s been haunting you.”

But my mind has been psychologically sedated. I’ma only get hated. I’m not worthy to spread your Word. I don’t even like quoting scripture. I’m not the one. I know nothing. I’m no prophet, and my language is too raw. I gotta mouth on me and I don’t intend on sugarcoating.

“That’s the thing, it’s the fact that you’re so bold, and you don’t hold back. I need your voice to be heard so it can reach the hidden herd, who’ve gone off into the shadowy valleys you’ve been in, those suicidal miles.”

But I’m not religious.

“You don’t have to be.”

They won’t accept it from me.

“Your message was intended for the remnant, not the Pharisees. Now go get to writing, and spread that light for me. That’s why I allowed you to come back after all those mysterious panic attacks you weren’t supposed to come back from.”

So you’ve been watching me all this time, even when I tried to hide from you, even when I denied you?

“Yes because it wasn’t your fault that I’ve been misrepresented by corrupted humans,
You were always mine but the world made you believe that you weren’t,
El Diablo planted curses to make you think that you’re worthless,
But I’ve been observing your heart,
Your diligence,
Those tribulations gave you endurance,
The pain just made you forget my face, but I always remembered you,
Being restored from being broken is what makes this that much more powerful,
So don’t mind the snide remarks,
Some don’t know, others I never knew,
So there’s no need to worry,
Just focus on your purpose.”

So I express myself uncensored,
Because this world is rugged and cold like that,
There’s no better way to describe harsh realities,
That disturb certain audiences,
I’m constantly evolving despite the monitoring spirits looking for splinters in my arguments,
I don’t care if I’m wrong,
My ego already died long time ago,
Dark night of the soul,
They must not know that I always welcome failure as an opportunity for growth,
Religious debates are fruitless,
Nevermind the rudeness of those who claim you shouldn’t do this,
Perfection is something I’m no where near,
Nor did I ever claim to be,
If you ask me,
I never wanted anything to do with this thing right here,
I gave up on humanity as my heart kept throbbing from constantly getting shot up, along with blood drops from the love I’ve lost,
Causing you to grow misanthropic,
I’m not supposed to be writing this poetry and prose,
I’m supposed to be chronically heartbroken,
A lost cause who’s salty,
Bloodthirsty for crimes of passion for playing with my heart strings,
Now I’ma acoustic mami speaking so soothingly,
It was alluring to be empowered by the darkness powers,
As I once found solace in the warmth of the furnace,
I was expecting to burn in,
Until I heard Yahshua mention my name, and I was perplexed,
Because I never expected to ascend,
I’m no saint,
I’m painted with imperfections,
People love to shoot their projections,
But at least I’m genuine,
Despite the many times my spirit was obliterated,
I still have infinite love left within me,
I’m not suppose to be where I am, but I am because of the I am…