N O C T U R N A L Intruders (Poem)

Panic attacks, a defense mechanism to quickly awaken from nocturnal intrusions,

I suppose it is a way to stop those from taking over your vessel while you nestle in your bed resting,

Hyperventilating, heart palpitating, awaiting the end to the sudden turbulence.

I’m compelled to awaken from the sudden rush of adrenaline, for no reason it seems, except that of prior abuse,

By a trustworthy human who was possessed by the shadows that lurked within my room, trying to groom me,

I was a late bloomer, didn’t get the chance to fully develop,

On the cusp of pre-adolescence, my innocence dissipated from my hands,

fighting to grasp it once again but it has disappeared into oblivion.

That wasn’t the first time I’ve seen through the eyes of the conniving.

I’ve had anxiety attacks since 2009,

There’s no longer denying the thing that inflicts me at random times,

Mainly nighttime frights that sends my body into fight or flight mode,

We may overcome past traumas but the pattern remains embedded,

Mutated into sleep paralysis, my hypothesis is that it is much more than just that,

I’ve seen foreign entities creeping, it goes beyond disruption of sleep,

Long shadows that’d extent to my bed, but have limited reach,

Seeking to seep my energy until I’m depleted,

It’s a spiritual attack laced with panic.

I am at peace currently no reason for anxiety, but it comes suddenly like someone summoned it up to me,

This thing comes to disrupt the circadian rhythm, and seize our peace from sleep,

It also comes to steal our breath.

I’ve actually felt my breath being sucked out but it wouldn’t quite budge,

Now, who’s really in charge?

No need to worry, for matter cannot be created nor destroyed.

The only tactic the nocturnal intruder has is the attempt to knock you out and induce fear into your spirit,

The feeling that death is near, but it’s far from imminent,

Remember: We are closer to the source of infinite life than they.

Published by Yasira Akamai

Writer. Poet. Artist. Lyricist. Born in December 16, 1995. I'm Mexican-American of Native American and Spanish descent. Southwestern US born -> Grew up in the Chicagoland area including Northwest Indiana (mostly East Chicago) -> moved to a warmer place. I've been writing since like around the late 2000s. Depression and anxiety was swallowing me and I had difficulty trusting others, so I decided to confide in writing. It started off as Spanish songwriting, then it evolved into English poetry, prose, and short stories the more I improved my English grammar and vocabulary. I once had to take ESL classes, until it was determined that I didn't need to anymore around middle school. I became so dedicated to writing that I just did it everyday, and it served as my daily therapy as I was battling with negative thoughts. It put my mind in a state of meditation where it opened me up to many ideas and inspiration that I lived to create. I began to notice that I could write and speak things into existence with my words and actions. I had to find myself, and search for the power of the mind. Blog posts written by the author (Yasira Akamai) are intellectual property that belongs to the original author.  ©2021 Yasira Akamai, Power_of_the_Mind_Blog

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