Power Of The Mind – Spiritual Samurai Writes

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Reclaim Your Mind! The Effects of Childhood Narcissistic Abuse

Narcissistic abuse during childhood can cause you to be under arrested development because it basically breaks your brain. Mental and emotional abuse is hard to detect because it leaves no physical scars due to its subtle nature, so it’s easy for the abusers to get away with so much as chips of you fall off. You are left confused and you feel empty, but you don’t know why. That’s the crazy part about it: you don’t even know you’re being abused because the physical part doesn’t even have to be there. There’s no need for punches when your mind is getting fucked, and the damage is greater during childhood because those are your formative years. It leaves a huge imprint on you forever, and the after-effects can become permanent. Once you awaken, you’ll be able to see through the bullshit, and clearly identify the problems. Our lack of awareness can cause us to repeat toxic habits, overlook red flags in others, and suffer from not being able to make sense out of these things. Now, you can allow knowledge and wisdom to empower you.

Narcissistic abuse is already damaging enough when you’re in a toxic relationship, marriage, or even in the workplace but imagine spending the most vital years of your life living with narcissistic parents, stepparents, legal guardians, and/or other family members. This form of abuse is already lethal as it is, but it can get even worse when physical and sexual abuse is involved. It can get real dark, and the trauma becomes much more deep-rooted. You can check out this post titled, “Healing from the Cursed Mark of Sexual Abuse.” Now, imagine being surrounded by toxic family members as a child. There’s a lot of negativity that you’re absorbing just by being in their presence. You’re literally surrounded by energy vultures, and they have sucked the life out of you during a time when you needed life to be spoken unto you the most. You were most likely molded into a “people pleaser,” because you were made to believe that “putting yourself first” was supposedly “selfish.” You end up putting others before you to the point you forget about YOU. It’s time to stop that pattern right now. You can’t elevate in life if you keep being around those you need to heal from.

Disclaimer: I’m not a psychologist or anything like that. I’m just a freethinker and a writer who has a mind full of insight accumulated through observation and contemplation. I’m not a “licensed doctor” but more of a philosopher who exercises the art of independent thought for the purpose of healing and awakening. That’s what I like to call a spiritual lobotomy.

With that being said, here are the effects of childhood narcissistic abuse:


I mean how can you feel motivated when you’ve been around these toxic individuals for an extended period of time? They keep sucking the life out of you until you can’t breathe, and even then you’re not allowed to breathe. You constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells or on a tightrope all the time. They’re just there breathing down your neck just watching your every move waiting for you to fall down, so they can gossip and laugh at your failure.

You often wondered, “If this person hates me so much, why are they always around me?”

That’s because they need your energy. As they’re watching you like a hawk, they will find fault in everything you do no matter how hard you worked on making those things perfect. You do everything to make them happy, but they will never acknowledge it or they downplay it. They’ll even disrespect everything you’ve ever done for them, and they wonder why you stopped doing a lot of things. Your motivation has been zapped into non-existence, and that’s when they get to call you “lazy, useless, or worthless.” These were the same people who robbed you of your motivation by constantly dimming your light. They will call you “lazy” despite all the effort you’ve been putting in no matter how hard you work. There’s no point in trying to impress them because they act like they don’t see it, and this can really break your spirit to the core. Your hard work is ignored and overlooked while they talk down on you or talk shit about you to other people. They want you to fail because your failure would serve as juicy gossip for them. Do them a favor by succeeding, so they can REALLY HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT.

Maybe if you weren’t so busy trying to make them happy (which is an impossible task), you would have the energy to work on yourself as you should. They demand your energy to be put on ONLY them, but when they notice your lack of accomplishments, they will call you a “loser” and a “failure.” They do this even though, they have set unreasonable expectations on you to the point you had no time or energy to build your own life. It’s time to cut them off, and start focusing on you and your growth. If they don’t like it, then oh well! You know who’s really for you when you start to put yourself first (as you should).

The same people who’ve tried to break you will complain about why you’re broken. They do this to gaslight you in order to hide from accountability, and drive you insane because they want you to believe you’re an awful person.

Your lack of motivation may’ve stemmed from:

Everything you’ve ever done was NEVER fucking good enough for them. It’s no wonder why you don’t feel motivated.

How can you?

When everything you’ve ever done has been unnecessarily scrutinized and belittled every single time. Nothing ever worked, so why even work, right? The things you’ve done could’ve been perfect and excellent, but if you’re the black sheep, scapegoat, or outcast everything you do is terrible in their eyes just because it’s YOU. Overtime, this eats away your self-esteem, confidence, and motivation. You’ll be thinking like, “What’s the fucking point of doing anything if everything I do is wrong or never good enough?”

Why even bother trying, right? Mind as well throw your life away, right?

NO! That’s exactly how they want you to think, so let’s give them the opposite of that. Let’s give them one helluva surprise.

Hey, but do you see how that negative thought pattern begins? And it will continue to persist the more those words dwell in your mind for years to come. Failure becomes your daily mantra, and it is the curse that was birthed by the words of those narcissistic vultures you’ve been around as a child. You must overturn those curses by telling yourself the opposite of what they have told you.


The reason why you don’t love yourself is because love was never shown to you. Narcissists are empty people with the inability to love others. They only view others (including their own children and other family members) as a utility. All they do is use people, so love is not there. The lack of love can cripple the self-esteem of the children who have to grow up in that environment. They feel like they have to work extra hard to get what they’re supposed to get from their parent. They feel like they have to impress them in order to recieve love and acknowledgement, but instead they get little crumbs.

The emotional neglect can also be very damaging. If anything, it emphasizes how much they’re not really there because they may be there physically, but they’re not there emotionally. They only come around to get something out of you, or to use you as an indentured servant while they get to sit back and relax. They don’t pour into your cup while they expect you to pour into theirs ALL THE TIME on THEIR time because it’s all about them. You are left feeling so empty. You feel like you’re a burden if you don’t make yourself useful around them. It’s like you’re not allowed to be happy and just unwind. They make you feel useless whenever you just want to relax like any normal human being would. You’re not allowed to be a human being around them. You gradually grow to resent them as you become unfamiliar with what love really is.

As you get older, you grow depressed and have low self-esteem because you don’t feel like you’re worthy of anything good. Depression creates a destructive on-going cycle that seems impossible to cease. Once it starts it’s hard to make it stop, and you become susceptible to addictions, vices, and risky behaviors in order to cope with it. Maybe you feel like doing stupid shit because it’s not like anyone would care. Perhaps you’ve been trying to do right, but you keep getting accused of doing crimes you never committed, so you think to yourself, “I’d mind as well do it because all the good I’ve been doing gets unseen and unappreciated.” You may either go wild or you become distant. Either way, you will develop an insecure attachment style as a result which affects the way you interact with other people. In my opinion, this can change the moment you start healing.


It’s hard to make friends when you haven’t been socialized around your peers because you had a controlling, possessive, needy, and/or toxic parent, guardian, or family member. Another thing, socializing with other people tends to be hard because you expect everyone to be just as toxic as your family. Maybe you think everyone is out to get you, and it gets worse when you go through constant betrayals that only further confirms your cynical perspective. Emotional neglect cripples your ability to socialize or communicate effectively because you were not heard, and you were made to believe that what you say doesn’t matter. You don’t even have the energy to speak, or maybe you talk too much and you don’t know how the conversation flow should go. Either way, your ability to communicate has been hijacked because you don’t think your words matter, so you don’t even bother expressing yourself. This can make you more distant and aloof.

Maybe you feel like you have to always listen to others, or impress them in order to get them to like you. This will not always work, so you’re bound to getting rejected. You don’t understand what’s going on. All you feel is the hurt of trying to build connections with others, but you’re struggling to do so which can make you feel even more alienated. This can create a toxic cycle where you will self-sabotage relationships, connections, or friendships because you expect to always get rejected (so you reject them before they reject you) or you don’t know how to maintain it due to deep-rooted insecurities from past traumas.

This can also make it difficult to keep a job because you perceive everyone to be your enemy who await on your downfall. This can be the case at times, but we need proper discernment. We can’t just jump into conclusions, and be so impulsive. Not everyone is out to get you, remember that. Psychological trauma skews your perception of reality which can confuse you into thinking that everyone is a threat, so hurting them (even if done unintentionally) doesn’t hurt as much. This explains the lack of guilt and even empathy because you don’t feel bad for hurting someone you thought was an enemy.
Do you see how this pattern can slowly turn you into a toxic person? You can hurt with no remorse because you thought that was your enemy even though he/she wasn’t. This can be devastating once you find that out, and can sink you into a deeper depression. Just be aware and forgive yourself, so you can move on. Understand that it was your defense mechanism that worked in the past, but you have to unlearn that if you want to be open to meeting high quality people. You don’t want to repel the good people away from you.

Then, there are those obnoxious people who just love to mess with you for no reason, and it can incite anger out of you to the point you start having dark thoughts. You feel like so many injustices have already been done to you, so you’re thinking, “What’s next, huh? What the fuck is next!?” You get so tired of this. If you have to endure more bullshit, you feel like you’re about to explode into a violent fury. You don’t know why or what the hell is going on and you just wanna scream and shout, or maybe do other things that could put you behind bars. You know exactly what I mean.

Don’t do it.

Don’t give them the satisfaction that they’ve pushed you that far. I know people can be very evil and demonic, but we have to become highly skilled in the art of adaptility. We have to think steps ahead of the game, and it is a sick game they’re playing. They are setting you up to lose, so let’s figure out ways to maneuver around the pitfalls they’ve installed for you to fall. We can’t control where the pitfalls are, but we can control how we move and where we go. DON’T DO WHAT THEY EXPECT YOU TO DO otherwise you will be placing yourself right in the position that they wanted you in. Don’t let them have control over how you move. They do things expecting a specific reaction that will place you right where they wanted you to be in, so they can ensnare you. Don’t give them any of your energy because they will use it against you by manufacturing drama and conflicts that don’t even exist. Your reaction to those things will bring it to life.

Do you see the power you hold?

There’s no need to go loco or loca, just quietly walk away from the bullshit. Don’t be a part of their mess. Don’t allow them to reel you back in either.

If you have a hard time communicating, at least learn other skills on the meantime. Observe so you can think like the enemy. When you’re playing cards, don’t you just wish you could read your opponent’s cards?

Hell yeah.

Well, what if I told you that you can by thinking like your enemy, and creating countermoves based on their moves. You have to be very clever in order to be able to quickly adapt and find a tailor-made strategy because everyone is different and every move that the individual makes is different. You must never put yourself in the position where your enemy wants you in. In order to know this, you must know your enemy, and the devil is quite predictable because his abilities will always be limited.

Only God is infinite, and if you become receptive to divine wisdom your capabilities become infinite too, so keep that light with you. Don’t join the evil because as much as they try to make themselves appear powerful, they are nothing but cowards who blow smoke out of their ass. They act tough because they really aren’t. It’s all an act, and all you can do is laugh at these clowns and keep your crown. All they can do is lie, deceive, and manipulate, but once you have keen spiritual eye-sight it is game over for them. Be one of those people who shows the world how powerful God really is because the world seems to think that good people are stupid, weak, and gullible. Not until we become empowered by truth and wisdom. This is why it is important to preserve the goodness of your heart, and never give up on the narrow path. When you fall you must never stop getting back up, but it all depends on your mental fortitude.

With all that being said, acknowledge your weaknesses, and find ways to strengthen them. There’s tons of work that needs to be done because of all the damage and time wasted, so let’s get to building our minds up. It all starts with the mind. Once you get your mind right, everything else will follow.


I keep telling you to build your skills up and all that, but you must be thinking, “How can I do that when I can’t fucking learn!?”

That’s a very good question, and I’ve been spending years contemplating and researching about this. I have yet more to learn. Not many people talk about it, and most people may think you’re just “lazy” or “full of shit.” I mean maybe you are or maybe you’re not.

Who knows?

I don’t know you like that, but if you’re reading this then clearly you are looking for some type of explanations that can lead you to understanding which means you are NOT lazy. You’re most likely exhausted because you’ve been robbed of a lot, and you’re trying to put the pieces together. You were made to focus on the needs of those who denied you of yours when you needed it the most.

Why is it so hard to learn?

You probably have a hard time concentrating or focusing on things because your brain wiring has been fucked from years of early childhood traumas. There are tons of articles that talk about how traumas can negatively affect learning, concentration, and retaining information. Traumas disrupt the cognitive processes of the brain which makes it extremely difficult to learn. Learning requires a peaceful mind that is open to receiving new information, but trauma leaves chaotic trails across the brain which blocks the ability to learn. It’s hard to concentrate when the brain has been hijacked by mental illness and demonic oppression. The longer it goes unhealed, the more difficult it gets, but that is why healing is very important. It hurts more when you kept getting gaslighted by those who were supposed to care about you. Your pain was not acknowledged or it was treated like a joke. Do yourself a favor and cut off anyone who denies or tries to minimize your pain because they’re not good for your mental health, and they’re clearly not trying to help. You can’t expect the enemies in your household to care enough to understand why you have these issues, especially when they were the contributors to your early traumas.

It’s time to sever ties with people who don’t have your best interest at heart. Do what you need to do to heal. You can’t regenerate your energy around those who will constantly deplete you. Your brain has been molded to not be able to focus on you and your tasks at hand. No one cared enough to help you when you needed it which makes it harder for you to fend for yourself. It’s even worse when you’re constantly told how “inadequate, inferior, or stupid” you are. You’re none of those things.

You’re not stupid.

Tell those negative mantras to shut the fuck up!

Own your mind!

It’s time to own your own mind. Take control of the kinds of thoughts you want to entertain. You see, one of the reasons why you can’t focus is because your brain developed negative thought patterns that was programmed in you since you were a kid. Mind control programming occurred during your formative years. This is why childhood trauma is so hard to heal, but it can be done gradually. I want you to become empowered.

Delete all of those negative thoughts. Clean that slate.


By creating new neurological patterns that will destroy the old ones. Out with the old and in with the new, right?

For every negative thought that comes into your mind you have to create a new one that will overturn that curse and empower you. You know what, I just got an idea. How about you write down all the negative thoughts on one side, then come up with the opposite of that on the other side. Even if you don’t believe in the positive, you should think about what you can do to achieve that.

For example, everyone thought you were stupid or incompetent, right?

Your mind will constantly interrupt your workflow by reminding you of that bullshit:

“You’re too stupid to do this.”

Remember the people who told you that you were “stupid,” and ask yourself: Do I really wanna give them the power to determine my worth and capability? Do you even respect the person who talked down on you like that?


Fuck no!

OK then, instead of entertaining that negative thought, create a new one like this:

“I may not be at my best right now, but I will become more intelligent by healing from the past, then I will empower myself with knowledge and wisdom.”

Then, as you put in the work, little by little, you will see it taking place. You see, YOU ARE NOT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY. YOUR WORDS HAVE MORE POWER THAN THEIRS. Don’t be devoured by the words of cowards, but rather be empowered by your own words which will manifest into reality. Make the world yours. Your world is yours, not theirs.

When you believe in what they say ABOUT YOU, that means that YOU are allowing them to have power over you.

Don’t do that.

Stop doing that.

Stop listening to the words that come out of these demons who just want to tear you down.


Because they need a scapegoat to blame for their failures, so they bet on you being a failure just so they can be like, “You see! I told you he/she wasn’t gonna be shit! Oh, I tried so hard. Blah-blah-blah-” BULLSHIT!

Only those who truly love you, would love to see you fully healed, prosperous, successful, and ascending. Those who view your elevation as a threat are the guilty parties who never had your best interest at heart, and they benefitted from your brokenness. You being fully healed and empowered means that they can never take away from you EVER AGAIN because you know better and you know your worth. You have officially PROVED THEM ALL WRONG, and it makes them feel shitty.


Even if you aren’t quite there yet you are a work in progress. That alone is proving them wrong because they kept calling you lazy and stupid, while you’re over here putting in that work on your mind, body, spirit, and finances, whatever it is. You are putting in that work, and real lazy people don’t do that. Keep going and don’t ever fucking stop. Don’t let anyone discourage you from growing. Let’em get mad all they want. They’re only exposing themselves because who the hell gets mad at you for wanting to be a better person?

Yeah, exactly so keep doing what you’re doing. It took you a while because a lot of time and energy has been robbed from you. The important thing is that you’re going at it now, and you are steadily rising. You’re no longer stagnant or declining. You are rising, and it will only get better the higher you go. Remember, it’s not a race, so it’s OK to take a little break. Your mental and spiritual health is very important, so don’t neglect that. You are not selfish for putting YOU first, so you can be the best version you can be. Your healing is key to unlocking the highest potential of your mind because that trauma has been blocking the neural pathways. Time to make some new ways. Learn to embrace solitude, so you can focus on YOU without toxic interruptions. Peace is the greatest thing to achieve, so don’t get so caught up in the money and vanity. Your mind and spirit comes first.

If you made it this far, I want to thank you for reading and listening to all of this.

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