I wasn’t lying when I said…
I was a broken woman,
It may not seem like it,
But my spirit’s been bleeding,
My love for God & Christ doesn’t seem to suffice,
Because I’m unqualified,
But accurate visions makes my light obvious, despite how many times I’ve tried to hide it,
That’s why I’ve been verbally annihilated by those threatened by the truth I stand for,
I’m a soldier,
But I never thought I’d be worthy,
For my platform to be called a “ministry,”
For one, I’m a woman, and two, I’m broken, so…
I told God I’m not the one and ran from Him,
Just like I did with men who showed interest,
Ambivalence,
At the same time,
I had an affinity for the Word,
And an aversion towards this world,
That accuses you of things you didn’t do,
Just like how the Jews crucified, you know who,
Jesús,
I’ve been searching for knowledge, yearning to be released from being a carnal hostage,
Cursed marks from abuse have been implanted when I was…

Tres. Ocho. Trece.
Emotional pain tremendous,
All I know is war, so I cry.

I used to hope that I’d die,
Now, I lyrically address it,
To eradicate its lethal effects,
Against my mental health,
Tempted to end my life slowly through the bottle,
Sometimes I feel like…
I belong to the darkness,
So why even bother?
Psychotic thoughts brought forth by traumas,
I have a hard time accepting my triumphs,
The sensations in my body push me over the edge,
Mental breakdown,
Rage can never be quenched,
But somehow, it dissipates when I sit with a therapist,
I’m relaxed for a minute,
But when I reflect in solitude, I feel removed from God,
I can’t forget about how those demonios tried to destroy me,
Clothed with a deceptive raiment,
Excuse my language, but…
How the fuck am I supposed to trust men when I’ve been violated at a young age?
Oh I made them feel so powerful when I was…

Tres. Ocho. Trece.
Emotional pain tremendous,
All I knew was war, so I cried.

I go from being loving to numbness,
It makes living so agitating,
That I get the urge to drink and let go of the beauty I’ve created out of my pain,
And of those I love the agape way,
I’m unqualified to spread His Word,
Unless my purpose was to encourage the world to see the humanity in broken souls,
As I constantly fight against these toxic thoughts contaminating my mind,
Am I bat-shit?
No, I just have misunderstood expressions,
Some find me brutally honest,
But that’s just a fraction of what my conscience sounds to me,
El diablo used to talk to me taughtingly,
So what’chu think?
I’m extremely hard on myself to the point I wanted to off myself,
Because CPTSD makes me feel like I can never reach,
Peace comes intermittently,
And even then I crave intense affection for my senses,
Because I’ve grown immune to the tremendous pestilence I’ve accepted,
From learned helplessness,
This art of expression makes me enjoy breathing,
My resilience will never cease,
All I will ever get is an increase,
Of blessings I gleamed at from a distance,
That is the power of discipline after going through hell,
Despite the shattered pieces that formed the cells that make ME,
An empowered individual,
Now, my only war cries incline toward victory,
Siempre sere la campeona,
Porque Yahawa me traeo el agua,
And I don’t know why,
So I glorify the One who,
Gifted us with infinite life,
I guess it was worth being diligent.

An angel told me in a dream, “The world is going to see what a great woman you’ve grown to be.”
I broke in tears of relief,
Those were the most healing words I’ve ever heard.
I will make that a reality,
And shatter ever single lie told about me,
Every curse against me gets broken,
The only thing broken is these damn curses, and it will be evident that God had His hand over my life,
That Divine love taught me how to love a man even though I wasn’t suppose to,
I nearly gave up until my husband showed up,
Love, being the highest frequency, is the superpower they couldn’t rob from me,
This war cry is legendary.

Gloria a Yahawa que nos trae el agua.
You better hope it’s a drink,
And not a tsunami.
Because all it takes is one drop of this war cry to set it off,
No injustice shall go unseen by the Ultimate Judge.