If you were to t a k e a look through m y e y e s, 10 years ago,
You’d notice a lack of glow,
As the negativity seeds have been sown,
Forlorn and torn,
From a young age, couldn’t contain much rage,
Nihilistic perspective, didn’t care about the future, because it’s bleak anyway,
Energy leeches almost everywhere, trying to dig deep into your being, til you’re depleted.
Goofy to hide the fact that I was depressed and aloof,
Used 4 locos and gin as an electrolyte, running on liquor,
In addition to, Unruliness
my antics were foolish,
Can’t believe I moved like this.
Seeking escapism, anything but be stuck in this prism,
reality is no different from a prison.
10 years ago I stopped giving damn anymore,
A fearless spirit was born,
You become stoic when you know it,
I couldn’t force a smile, a scowl was more like it,
Insomniac night owl,
Spending hours writing until my mind silences, but it kept howling,
It’s hard to sleep when thoughts race.
Fast and furious in my head, non-stop action,
Sleep distraction, but it captivated,
Me to keep releasing the words,
Convincing myself that there is a purpose for living,
Near-death experiences made me thankful I can still breathe,
But it also showed me there’s infinite bliss on the other side of life.