10 Y E A R S A g o… (Poem)

If you were to t a k e a look through m y e y e s, 10 years ago,
You’d notice a lack of glow,
As the negativity seeds have been sown,
Forlorn and torn,
From a young age, couldn’t contain much rage,


Nihilistic perspective, didn’t care about the future, because it’s bleak anyway,
Energy leeches almost everywhere, trying to dig deep into your being, til you’re depleted.

I was…
Goofy to hide the fact that I was depressed and aloof,
Used 4 locos and gin as an electrolyte, running on liquor,
In addition to, Unruliness
my antics were foolish,
Can’t believe I moved like this.

I was…
Seeking escapism, anything but be stuck in this prism,
reality is no different from a prison.
10 years ago I stopped giving damn anymore,
A fearless spirit was born,
You become stoic when you know it,
I couldn’t force a smile, a scowl was more like it,
Insomniac night owl,
Spending hours writing until my mind silences, but it kept howling,

It’s hard to sleep when thoughts race.
Fast and furious in my head, non-stop action,

Sleep distraction, but it captivated,
Me to keep releasing the words,
Of healing,

Convincing myself that there is a purpose for living,

Near-death experiences made me thankful I can still breathe,

But it also showed me there’s infinite bliss on the other side of life.

Published by Yasira Akamai

Writer. Poet. Artist. Lyricist. Born in December 16, 1995. I'm Mexican-American of Native American and Spanish descent. Southwestern US born -> Grew up in the Chicagoland area including Northwest Indiana (mostly East Chicago) -> moved to a warmer place. I've been writing since like around the late 2000s. Depression and anxiety was swallowing me and I had difficulty trusting others, so I decided to confide in writing. It started off as Spanish songwriting, then it evolved into English poetry, prose, and short stories the more I improved my English grammar and vocabulary. I once had to take ESL classes, until it was determined that I didn't need to anymore around middle school. I became so dedicated to writing that I just did it everyday, and it served as my daily therapy as I was battling with negative thoughts. It put my mind in a state of meditation where it opened me up to many ideas and inspiration that I lived to create. I began to notice that I could write and speak things into existence with my words and actions. I had to find myself, and search for the power of the mind. Blog posts written by the author (Yasira Akamai) are intellectual property that belongs to the original author.  ©2021 Yasira Akamai, Power_of_the_Mind_Blog

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