Unhealed Childhood Traumas Can Set You Up for Abusive Relationships

Unhealed childhood traumas can keep you stagnated in life. It can set you up for failure and you’re more likely to end up in an abusive relationship as an adult. The longer you remain unhealed, the longer the cycle of abuse continues. You may find yourself in-and-out of toxic relationships. It will drain you to the point where it kills your spirit, and you start to lose hope in every area of your life. Usually, when you encounter a genuine person, you’re unable to respond to their love because you can’t detect it. And if you can’t detect it, then how can you reciprocate it? You cannot reciprocate something you’re unfamiliar with, especially if you struggle to cultivate it for yourself.

With a shitty mindset, you will fail to attract anything good, and good things are rare as it is nowadays. You’ll only be narrowing down your options even more. Pessimism and bitterness will only keep that door of prosperity frozen shut which will prevent you from meeting great people and having the right opportunities available for you. The right people can sense that toxic energy from miles away, and trust me they don’t want anything to do with it. We cannot control the way others perceive reality. All we can do is move accordingly. We’re all a work in progress, but we have to be mindful of the kind of energy we are putting out into the atmosphere. Our thoughts and words have the power to attract or repel blessings.

WHAT DOES ABUSE DO? HOW DO PAST TRAUMAS EFFECT YOUR DATING CHOICES?

It programs you to become familiar with abusive behavior. You may not even be able to detect it. For instance, the more severe your past traumas are, the more desensitized you’ll be, and the higher your tolerance will be for abuse later down the line. Why? Because you’ve been blinded from seeing the red flags. What is considered a red flag may seem like it’s “not a big deal” because you’ve been through worse, and you’ve been programmed to just sit there, shut up, and take it. I’m here to tell you that YOU AIN’T GOTTA TAKE SHIT!

NEVER settle for a low-quality relationship just because “it’s not as bad” as what you’ve gone through before, or what you’ve witnessed or heard others go through. Always aim for a healthy and stable relationship. The sad part about this is that you don’t even know you’re being abused. You’re just glad it’s “not as bad.” If you’ve already experienced those things during your childhood, then your mind has already been programmed with the perfect software to be a punching bag for a narcissistically abusive partner. This is primarily the reason why many of them target vulnerable people who have a history of past abuse and childhood traumas. They don’t have to work too hard to groom them because the victim already has low self-esteem, hopelessness, depression, lack of confidence, and they don’t know their worth. They don’t even believe they could find someone better, so they’ll settle for a toxic relationship. Never settle for less. Always strive for the best.

THE CYCLE OF ABUSE: FROM NARCISSISTIC PARENTS TO NARCISSISTIC PARTNERS

If you had at least one narcissistic parent, stepparent, or foster parent, that is enough abuse to cause a detriment to your mind. You may’ve encountered more than one in your blood, extended, or foster family. Your childhood narc abuser(s) have conditioned you to perceive reality in a way that would serve them and NOT you.

-They weaken you by instilling fear in you through intimidation, emotional abuse, and other manipulative tactics.

-They program you to accept one-sided relationships as a norm, and they break your self-esteem to such a degree that you feel like you don’t deserve better.

-They make you doubt yourself, so that you never find out who you are and realize your greatest potential.

Your success would break the chains they’ve placed on you because in order to reach success, you have to be released from their control. The narcissists’ programming is designed to keep you trapped, so don’t feel bad about letting go of individuals who don’t wanna see you win.

For example, a young man might be thinking, “If this is how mama treats me, then this must be how all women are like, and I don’t think I like this. But I will take these breadcrumbs anyway because I don’t know of another way to eat.” This makes you unaware and not receptive to the abundance that is out there including the existence of a genuine woman. You grow to believe that they don’t exist because you weren’t exposed to it. It’s hard for a man to believe that love is real if even his own mother doesn’t have unconditional love for him. Being exploited by females is all he ever knew, and that has shaped his mindset to be resentful, angry, or depressed until he releases from that psychological bondage. The war isn’t about gender, it’s all spiritual.

It is time to break the program that has been keeping you at a low vibration. Once you awaken to the truth about everything around you, you will learn to let go of things and people that have been holding you back. Don’t be afraid to do what is right for your personal growth. Getting knowledge, especially psychology, will help you make sense out of your experiences. It will give you the validation you need to help you heal.

We have to become self-aware, and find our own identity and perspective. Those things are difficult to attain when in the presence of energy vultures from childhood all the way down to relationships. This cycle of abuse will keep you down, and make you lose hope in men or women. Hatred, bitterness, and resentment may brew within a chronically broken heart when that person has never experienced love before. They may start to have a twisted view of “love” or they may not believe it’s real. Therefore, they cannot recognize genuine love when it is presented before them, and they end up losing the only opportunity they had.

LOVE IS POWERFUL

People think that love is weakness when it really isn’t. Loving the wrong person can make us weak because there was never love in that situationship to begin with! It is pure exploitation disguised as “love.” That’s that fake love from the narc. If all you’ve ever experienced were relationships that were exploitative, starting from your own parents, then its safe to say that you’ve probably never been loved. Or maybe you were by at least one person, you just were just not receptive to it, but don’t beat yourself up for it. You didn’t know at the time, but as you’re reading this now, I’m pretty sure you’re looking for answers, and finding out how to improve the quality of your life.

Just because you weren’t loved before does NOT mean that you’re “unworthy or ugly.” You have to take the time to feed yourself with things that will strengthen and empower you in a positive manner. Those who couldn’t love you, couldn’t even love themselves, and all they did was take that out on you. They felt ugly and unworthy, so they placed those curses onto you by breaking you down just to make themselves feel good. Do you really want to take heed to the words of an evil individual who does shit like that? I don’t care who it was. Don’t take disrespect from anyone! Don’t tolerate abuse from anyone! Not even if it’s “family.” At some point, some people stop being family the moment they start treating YOU like you’re not family. Now, you have to separate yourself from environments that are detrimental to your growth. You have to love yourself enough to want more out of life. You are not selfish for wanting better for yourself.

It can be difficult to be positive when you’ve been around nothing but toxicity and abusive individuals. But it is our job to change our environment, and forge a new path toward peace and progress. We have to escape from the mess, and choose to be set apart from all that. The chains from those generational curses must be broken, and you will experience a sense of freedom like you never have before. Embrace solitude in order to learn more about you, so you can cultivate your confidence from within.

You do not have to put up with anyone’s bullshit. No more abuse. Close those destructive doors and make room for better things. All men and women are not the same. It’s just the ones we’ve encountered in the past, but you’re more likely to run into toxic individuals because evil is at an all time high. However, it is our job to protect ourselves, and preserve our beautiful energy for those who do deserve to be in our presence. You gotta save room for the right ones, but in order to do that YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT THE RIGHT ONES DO EXIST. Otherwise your negative mindset will repel the real ones. You may not be a bad person, but your bad energy can block your blessings and bring those self-defeating prophecies into fruition.

You wanna elevate so much to the point where you ain’t even thinking about those traumas, and that comes by increasing your vibration which includes your spiritual energy. You can read, “5 Ways to Increase Your Spiritual Energy.” That is what makes love so powerful because it starts with loving yourself enough to invest in yourself. Rather than hating those who’ve hurt you, it’s best to put all that energy and turn it into passion that will cause you to excel exponentially. Break those word curses that have been implanted in you from the soulless ones, and create your own path through your own words and actions. You have the power to change your life the way you want to, but that comes from obeying divine wisdom. It will all make sense once you unlock the power of the mind.